Mannerly Monday: 19th Century Dining Edition

During dinnertime in the 19th century, the rules of etiquette were carried out much differently than today. Although both Emma Woodhouse and Emily Post would frown upon impaling ones steak with ones knife and chewing it; at Emma’s dinner table, it was practically a cardinal sin to leave ones gloves on when eating or drinking. That etiquette rule went for both 19th century men and women.

Another rule for men and women was that a married couple would never sit by one another in the 19th century. This idea seems crazy to us in the modern era as couples are always sat next to each other and it would create speculation and intrigue if they weren’t. Another concept to keep in mind was that in the 19th century, men and women had very specific rules for their gender in every category of etiquette. Gentlemen were to be extremely respectful to women in ways such as helping them in and out of chairs, escorting them to the table, and standing when a lady gets up from her seat. In the 21st century, it would be a big deal if my brother were to help me push in my chair. I would probably burst out laughing if my brother offered to escort me to the dinner table. Ladies on the other hand were made to be such dainty figures. This comes into play with even the smallest things such as “A lady never serves herself from a buffet line, but informs her partner of her wishes and he brings her plate to her” (According to The Language of 19th Century Etiquette Book).

 As you go through your week of dining, think of Mrs. Mannerly, whispering in your ear to remember to put your napkin in your lap.