Mannerly Mondays: Wedding Etiquette for the 19th Century Bride and Groom

The concept of a wedding has not changed much since the 19th century, and it is still a major event in a person's life.  There are some 19th century traditions that we've lost in the 21st century.  For instance, in the 19th century the bride and groom were not to see each other during the engagement without a chaperone.  Also in the 19th century, when the groom was proposing, custom dictated that he should ask the bride's father for permission to marry his daughter. Today, the act of asking the father's permission is not a must, but it is still considered a show of good etiquette.

Most 19th century weddings were held in the morning between 10 and 12 a.m. normally in a church.  Back then the date of the wedding was extremely important, there were months and days not even considered because of superstition. I think the date is still important to the modern bride and groom but more in the way of what season they both like and dates that are significant to the couple.

Now, as for the reception, the 19th century reception is quite different in comparison to modern weddings. For example, since 19th century weddings were held in the morning, the reception food was usually breakfast. At modern day weddings, most weddings are help in late afternoon and usually dinner is served. Another difference was that the bride would cut the cake alone, and she saved a piece that represented fidelity. As I'm sure you know, a modern tradition is that the married couple feeds the first slice to each other, laughing as they get it all over themselves.

Next time you see your fiance unchaperoned or go to a wedding where the couple smears cake over each others face, think of your 19th century counterparts eating breakfast together and keeping moldy cake locked away as a memento. 

Keep up those manners and we'll see you next week.